Category: nekategorisano

How many times have you decided to look the other way, forget and forgive, only to be met with the same old thing over and over again, that hurts you the same as before, or even more than before? How many times have you felt sick to your stomach, and your gut was screaming, “This is bad for you,” but then you went ahead and did that very thing (the thing that was very, very bad for you)? How many times have you tried to convince yourself and others that people do change and it will be better this time around, or tried to justify someone’s behavior and your own tolerance for that behavior? Remember that time you went back to your ex, thinking “this time will be different”?
Have you ever wondered why humans do such things? Have you ever tried hard to justify someone’s behavior, and then went on to justify the fact that you were justifying that person’s behavior?

Written using real-world examples (including some of my own experiences), with simplicity and no sugarcoating, I hope this book will be useful. Perhaps it will make you think about the things you have forgotten; maybe it will encourage you to reconsider some of your decisions and help you make new ones – or you might disagree with me. No matter which of these things happens, if you only consider some of the things you will find here, this book will have fulfilled its purpose.
You can buy it here.

“Simple State of Happiness” is not a self-help book. It is an invitation to question and reflect.
You can buy it here.

The Empathy Switch is a one-sit read. The book explains how complex empathy really is and sheds light on the other side of it — the side that is mostly unresearched, hidden, or purposefully ignored.
You can buy it here.

This book is meant to be a short, practical guide for professionals such as life coaches, therapists, psychologists, and counselors, in which I describe the method I call “the separation method.”

It is not a type of therapy, but an exercise that can be used in coaching, consulting, as well as in therapy; it is up to you, the professional, to find your own way of adapting it to whatever it is that you specialize in. You may wonder how I came up with it, and why I want to share it. It is all very simple – I came up with it after years of education and experience. I wish to share it because it can not do harm, but if done properly, it can help. Perhaps someone else has developed a similar method – that is quite possible. I have never heard anyone talk about it, nor did the professionals I have met. Therefore, I thought it would be a useful and interesting thing to share.
You can find it here.

“Needless Thinking about Needs” is often described as analysis through storytelling. Composed of true stories, it explores the world of illusions, fortune and misfortune, human needs, the relativity of happiness, and problems related to self-awareness.

Read the Excerpts

English, hardcopy is available HERE . The Serbian version (hardcopy) is available HERE.

 

 

About the Book

Some people have the fortune (or misfortune) to have plenty of money and a lot of free time. That can create the perfect conditions for them to discover their own (and other people’s) hidden aspects. That is also how some new needs are born, quite unexpectedly.

Money can bring you more free time and fun. You can buy whatever you want. However, all fun things come to an end eventually. And then, when the fun is over, you might find yourself alone with your thoughts. Where will they lead you?

Needless Thinking about Needs offers a picture of real life behind the illusion of comfort and happiness.

I was lucky enough to get to know a few people whose stories simply had to be told. There were also some thoughts I could not keep to myself, and it was just a matter of time before they would see the light of day. I felt I had something to say about the topics this book deals with: needs, money, illusions, and happiness.

The characters in this book are based on real people, but every character is a composite of several different personalities. Some of the personalities I came across were very similar to each other, which made it easy (and natural) to fuse them into one character. This, too, shows that human beings are more similar to each other than they think. It will not be difficult for you to recognize somebody you know (or even yourself) in some parts of this book. The decision to use fictional names and modify characters is also my way of showing respect for the people who, knowingly or unknowingly, did their part in helping me write this book. Some of them are no longer alive. I feel the need to express immense gratitude to the people who shared their stories with me.

While researching and talking to several people who could be called wealthy, it was not really important for me to know how they acquired their wealth or the extent of it. I was interested in something else. I wanted to know how they saw life and happiness. What were their needs, wishes, illusions, ambitions, and sacrifices, and where did they find their purpose? Even though the majority of people on the planet find that money is extremely important, does money really have the power to bring perfect happiness? What needs did those people have in common, and how did these needs drive them to make various mistakes? You will find at times that female characters express a deep need for love and understanding, but you will also see the various ways of striving to fulfill it and the different results of each of those ways of struggle. You will see that in other characters, satisfying that same need has a completely different goal and purpose. You will also see how satisfying other people’s needs influences some of the characters. The need for security (which many people believe can be fulfilled with money) will be examined as well.

How much comfort and security can money really bring? This book will attempt to answer this question, and what makes it credible is the fact that it comes from “first-hand” experience. It is true that characters have been altered, but their stories are not invented. I have shared some of these experiences indirectly through talk or directly as a witness to certain events. In addition, these stories could have happened just about anywhere – Belgrade, New York, or Milan. These events could have taken place in your neighborhood. While you’re enjoying your afternoon coffee, one of these stories could be happening just a few blocks away from your house. Stories like these can happen at any time, in any place. In a certain way, they happen to all of us.

I tried to understand each of those people. I tried to present them truthfully and highlight the personality traits most essential for sending out the message this book carries. It was very difficult to portray certain characters accurately without sounding judgmental. Nevertheless, they are here to help us see ourselves and the world around us a bit better, to understand ourselves and each other, and to learn to recognize the moment when it becomes necessary to stop thinking and move on – in other words: to save ourselves and those around us.

Having a lot of money opens many possibilities; one of them is the possibility of coming face to face with what is darkest inside you. Wealth enables us to buy whatever we wish for. People who become rich seldom stop to ask, “Do I really need this?” Many of them are now living in a dimension very different from the one in which they lived before they became rich. All the needs they had before becoming wealthy are finally fulfilled, but they have also discovered new needs, and every day they keep discovering more of them – or they simply make up new needs that are impossible to fulfill.

In some of the people I met, I recognized the emergence of new needs and the mistakes that, truth be told, are frequently made by many of us (including me). Some people are well on their way to making them, and this book could help them avoid such or similar mistakes. It is my hope that some of this will get to people, help them understand themselves and the world that surrounds them, possibly change some things, and accept the ones they can’t change.

Humanoid was written in 2012. Many things have changed since then, but some remain the same.

This book is composed of the following chapters:

• Artificial Intelligence – “I think, therefore I am”
• Robo-soul
• Naturalistic Fallacy
• Love and Black Boxes
• Ideals – the Death of Common Sense
• Unease, Aversion, and Fear
• Prince, Vibrator or Humanoid – That is the Question
• Mike and I
• What the Future Holds – for Us and for Them

In these chapters, you will be able to read about machines with artificial intelligence and human beings, as well as the most common problems in thinking (in humans, not robots). The book is dedicated to artificial intelligence, but since it is not possible to understand a humanoid without understanding a human first, it is also focused on human beings. On the other hand, to understand human beings, it will be useful to observe their attitudes towards humanoid robots, artificial intelligence, and changes in general. Among other things, we will see how problems in thinking lead to mistakes in creating and destroying a value system. Furthermore, these mistakes affect human emotions and lead to new mistakes in all spheres of life. The questions I am asking and the answers to those questions may sound dramatic at times, but one should not be misguided by superficial assessments and unverifiable beliefs. I accept the possibility that something I say here might seem “shocking” to some (or perhaps they might use a different word for it), but any risk is worth taking when one is seeking the truth and facts, no matter what they turn out to be.

What I am interested in are several things that at first might seem unrelated:
How do the ideals that are served to us affect our attitudes towards change (especially technological change)?
How does being misinformed lead a man to a priori reject all the fantastic possibilities and potential benefits?
At the same time, there will be many questions about man and his way of thinking, and of course – about love, one of his driving forces.
All this will also lead us to the good old questions: What is love, and what do we know?

We will discuss some of the common and very harmful prejudices (*not all prejudices are necessarily harmful). Furthermore, the terms and concepts that affect our choices and our way of life should be defined more accurately. They are largely used in forming ideals and manipulation. The ideals of love and closeness belong to this group. We will also discuss artificial intelligence and human interaction and see how wrong humans can be when it comes not only to artificial organisms but also to other humans.

These are the central topics:

What is the difference between the human and the artificial mind?
What do we know?
Is there a robo-soul? How different is it from the ‘soul’ of a human? Is there any soul? Are we better than them?
Why are human beings still afraid of humanoid forms of ‘life’? Why do we think that those forms of existence are unnatural and ‘dead’? Are they?
What does the future hold?

The purpose of this book is multidimensional. First, it is to help understand some truths about artificial intelligence, and then – even more importantly – to help accept some truths about our own species. We will observe robots and humans and note some interesting things about both.

At the very beginning, I would like to prevent a possible misunderstanding. This book celebrates love – true love. Not the love we think we are getting or the love we would like to get, but the love we are capable of giving. To whom or what we are giving it is a different issue. This book does not deny or look down upon love in any way. Love undoubtedly exists; the problem is that it’s often incorrectly defined and, therefore, incorrectly approached in everyday life. Furthermore, this book celebrates life – every form of it, including the “synthetic” ones (which are by no means less valuable).

Here are some questions about human beings. What do we know about ourselves and others? What is love? How do we love? Whom do we love? Do we even know the person we think we love, and why do we love them in the first place? How do we know if they love us? Is it possible to love an artificial organism, and what kind of love is that? You will see that love is a one-way process and a non-mystical one, as much as we may want to believe otherwise. Love, of course, can be requited, which is why one would call it a two-way process. However, that is not correct. We don’t really know what the other person feels – even when we are quite certain that we know it. We are all “black boxes” to each other. This is where all the misconceptions, emotional pain, all kinds of losses, and even tragedies come from. We have unrealistic expectations – and it is not even completely our fault. We have simply been taught incorrectly for hundreds of years. Finally, how is all this related to artificial intelligence? It is quite easy to relate all of the above-mentioned to artificial intelligence, and as you will see, it is quite useful to think about this connection. This can result in many answers and possibly open a new perspective.

I will try to be impartial and realistic about the things I discuss. I want to make it clear that I am not ‘taking sides’ but only trying to get to the truth, or at least to what is closest to it. After all, everything in this world has its good and bad sides, and we should not overlook any of them. I do not argue that everything can be replaced with an artificial creation. Nothing can replace the smile of your child, for example. That is not the subject of discussion in this book. However, it is possible, and even desirable, to replace inefficiency, certain kinds of risk, dangerous or just unpleasant behavior, destructive behavior, physical and psychological abuse, hostility, and many other bad behaviors that come from human beings. Some of these things are sometimes wrapped in brightly colored paper and then somehow related to different “aspects of love.” Considering that, it is not difficult to see the roots of the sacrifices, suffering, and tragedy that one human being takes because of another – and all that because of the wrongly learned definition of words such as ‘love’ and ‘natural.’ This, among other things, IS the subject of discussion in this book.

Through a dynamic story and interesting characters, this book brings up important questions about the great ideals – honor, freedom, truth, and love. It examines and debunks some common beliefs. It analyzes the mechanisms of manipulation, power, and control – suggesting some interesting answers.  “Something Is Wrong” is a mix of philosophy, psychology, social analysis, radical behaviorism, vigilante justice, and science fiction – well-balanced, working together in a unique way. It will make you wonder…

Buy it HERE.